2024.

Dear, hubby, it's already 2024! 

Sometimes ago I suddenly had a lot of things to say to you. Like how I want you to grow, and how I want you to create your own opportunity, how I want to get us to my dream, how I want us to take care of our baby in the future. And that's not all. 

I still have a lot of worries about you. But despise that I also want you to know that I still believe in you. I believe that you can do better, not for me, but for yourself.

I know that I'm full of flaws myself, but I want us to grow better. To not just satisfied with things as they are now. To be brave to take the risk. And for us to not regret for not trying. 

I also want you to know that you're always in my every prayer, as well as my parent, brother, in-laws, and our baby who waits for us in heaven.

I'm sorry if I'm nagging so much. I just want to know what you are feeling, and what you are thinking about that. It saddend me quite little when you didn't say anything back... did I hurt your feeling? Did I just discourage you? Tell me, baby so I know...

It's 10.48 pm and I have to wake up early tomorrow. As you fall asleep next to me, I hope you have a nice dream baby. Love you...

hi, baby.

hi, baby.

I'm still copping with this feeling of losing you. 

everything that I did, somehow remind me of you. 

last wednesday, I got discharged from hospital. just when I went to the room, I just couldn't stop my tears. every little thing in this room, reminds me of you. the pregnancy pillow, the clothes that I was wearing, the vitamins that I consume, even everytime I ate, I always remember that I used to eat for you too. 

as the day went by, I stared to feel better. but some other time, when I just suddenly remember of you, I will run to your dad, hugging him, as I can't stop my tears flowing. he will just hug me back without saying anything until I calmed down. it surprised me that I was so attached to you more than I realized, baby. 

everyday I pray that you will be happier there. mom and dad loves still, and always, baby. ♡

see you again, baby.

 9/10/2023

dear my lovely baby boy,

just so you know, ibuk and ayah love you so so soooo much. we were so in love with your presense in our live as we couldn't wait to see you come in our arms. 

but, it turned out that Allah loves you more than us...

it saddened ibuk and ayah to have to send you so soon, but we always know that His plan is what's best for you and for us. thank you for spending this last magical four months with us. we will see you again in jannah, my little angel. 

we love you so much, and always, my dear muhammad daffa hm ♡

the very first day.

Today marked the first day that I heard your heartbeat! It sounded like badump.. badump... omg, your heart beats so fast! 

I felt like I was gonna cry out of happiness. It sounded amazing! Sometimes I still couldn't believe that you are growing up so fast inside me. I can't wait to see you next year, baby! Mom and dad loves you! ♡

Kok bisa ya.

Kok bisa ya orang-orang tiba-tiba nikah?

Kok bisa ya orang-orang bisa saling nerima?

Kok bisa ya orang-orang bahagia dengan sederhana?

Kok bisa ya orang-orang bisa saling percaya?

Kok bisa ya orang-orang dengan mudahnya jatuh cinta?

Kok bisa ya rasanya aku masih gini gini aja?