felt lost.

what kind of feeling is this?

i don't like it.

whenever i overthinking about future, about my life, about something, i really don't like this feeling. what is it called? anxiety? depression? i don't know.

i feel like shit.

have you?

have you ever imagine becoming something that you'd never dream of?

have you ever dreaming becoming something that you'd never think of?

have you ever thinking becoming something that you'd never imagine of?

i kept calling those questions over and over again

sometimes

when the days was going slow

when the cloud just stay

and the wind go away

and that feels kept me lay

nothing mattered

and i'm just stay dazed

hello, hi, how are ya?

another november just passed.

well, in the last three years i was joining this event organizer for a big running event in the neighborhood. i wasn't doing much, most of time we were doing side quests and whatnot.

for 2 years we've been working in a team with four. but dramas happened. we only worked in three people team this year.

of course it wasn't easy but all of our experience in the last 2 years thought us many things. well basically we did everything in the last 2 years so nothing change much in this year tho.

our main quest was taking care of the manpower to help the event go well. we did the recruit, we did the breakdown, even we also did the briefing to explain the job descriptions for most of divisions.

well, thing went well, and we got the money. not much but enough. okay, it far from enough for wtw asia or school's fee, but hey, let's just save it for the fun later!

wake me up when november end.

10 months has passed in the blink of an eye

nothing change much

there was a time 

that i blame everything on  the past

but not anymore

we helped each other 

to became what we are today

so i'm glad

that we met.

i didn't feel so bad lately. looking back to some of my post from before, it looked like i was depressed. like, a total mess. then i tried not to overthinking anything, and just did some of things little by little. all at once just wasn't my thing and i'm who understand that the best. 

if you ever read this when you feel down, just remember to be kind to your self. sit down, put your phone down, take a deep breath, and let your mind to calm down.

well, whatever. i'm feeling so good right now, just saying.

what am i thinking?

i had no worries in life.

no, actually i had a lots of worries. hundreds. thousands.

but my everyday mood doesn't seem like that at all.


people who don't know me wouldn't understand,

that i, too, have so many things in my mind.

i'm selfish, yes..

i'm only talking about my self, yes..


do i listen to people?
i, maybe do sometimes.

do i understand people?
i, maybe do sometimes.

do i care for people?
i, maybe do sometimes.


do people care about me?