not really fond of future.

what 19 year old me would say to my 24 year old me?

she might be disappointed, happy, disgust, i don't know. i never imagined hat everything would be turned out this way anyway.

what do i do now?

what 30 year old me would say?

what title should i write.

same shit.
i felt so messed up.

being in school was really hard, i often thinking how about i end this all at once. i mean, i always had this dream to do something hat would make a lot of money, being an entrepreneur i mean.

what's the point of me being in school, talking about something so abstract that actually didn't have anything to do in my daily life?

my mind felt like in a prison. i watched so many creative mind doing their job in real life, enjoying what they did, create things that change people's life, and made me want to do that too.

what would i be after finished school? i don't know...

i still face he same problem over and over again and haven't figure it out yet, while out there, a lot of my friend looks like they had figure it out and enjoying their life, and then i felt so lost.

where's all of my dreams from back then gone?

i felt so suck right now, i wanna cry.

it's been 5.30 pm in study room.

i don't even know what i'm doing this last few hours... i mean this whole day. i went to 7.30 am till 3.00 pm class and didn't even do my assignment. i spend the next 2 hours sitting in the study room and chatting, i mean, fangirling wth rc about aquaria. like what the hell. why did i choose this path in the first place? what's my motivations back then? I'm so doomed. might be damned.

i just don't know. sometimes i wanna cry all die. but what's next?

hi october.

nothing change much but my weight. lol.

how's my life? i think i'm doing good right now. 

well, this last few months passed to fast. i didn't even know what i was thinking back then, but now i'm in graduate program. still, i haven't figure it yet about what i'm gonna do or what i'm gonna be. i just let everything to flow.

ah fuck this new keyboard. i can barely write a sentence without typos and missing character.

 

same shit, different year.

hi, i've been gone for a while now when i just promised my self to write more. lol.

let it be.

so, this title got me right on the feels. i mean, it's almost a year since i've been graduate and seems like nothing change. still jobless, poor and miserably single. uhm. not miserable tho. i'm just enjoying to be by my self for too long so that i forget how it feels like to have someone around.

some people advised me to think about what i wanted to do, but all i want to is just to be rich. lol. i mean, i don't exactly had anything in mind. i want to go aboard, but had no enough confidence in my self. i want to just stay low and do that teacher thing but i don't want to just stay low. i want to get married but i lost interest in marriage. not that i turned to gay or whatnot. everything just felt so numb.

i need 5G for sure.

Good God, Get  Grip Girl.